What I do know is I'm suffering from pretty severe anxiety & possible depression. It's come out of nowhere. It started Sunday evening and Monday was horrible. It was the feeling of postpartum depression. I feel like I'm in a room with the walls closing in on me. I got put on some acid reflux medicine and the doctor said I had a clean bill of health. However, I still have these moments of doubt. I keep thinking that maybe I'm not healthy. I keep getting thoughts of loneliness & claustrophobia. I read into the slightest twinge in my body. If you pray, please pray for me. If you don't, would mind for me.
Oh Lord, My heart is so heavy. You say that your perfect love casts out fear. You care for the lilies in the field and the sparrow of the sky and you love me even more, so I don't have to jump ahead and worry about tomorrow. Help me to be free in this day that you made. Help me to know you are near and do not be anxious for anything but pray in thanksgiving as you give me peace that outweighs my limited understanding. I need you to fully immerse myself into loving my girls, Ben. God I know you're sovereign & your love doesn't fail. You love me, my girls, Ben, my family. You want me to delight in the goodness of you. To dance freely under the shelter of your safety. I need to hear your pure, silver words of your promise.
Ben and I walked down the aisle after being married to the song "Promise" by Pedro the Lion. The chorus says:
If I look up and the sky's not there,Lord I believe, help my unbelief.
Is there any reason that I should be scared?
When a promise is a promise I know.