Friday, June 25, 2010
So as I mentioned, Ben and I celebrated our 8 year anniversary on the 14th, which happens to be Flag Day. You can imagine with our HUGE patriotism that our wedding colors were red, white & blue, I walked down the aisle with sparklers and to "It's a Grand Ole' Flag;" rather, than the traditional bouquet and wedding march. It was quite the sight:)
When I reflect back on that day, I think of it being one of the best life's decisions ever. We've known each other for 12 years this summer and although we rarely argue much these days (emphasis on rarely and not the word "ever"), we definitely did in our first couple years of dating. Ben and I will wonder with amazement how we continued dating? We seriously argued a lot (emphasis on 'a lot'). Ben being a mild mannered individual was seen a number of times being pushed to the edge with a certain young girl's immaturity. When I see where our marriage is now, I can honestly say it is because of how purposeful we were in the dating period. I'm so thankful for Ben's cautious nature when making decisions. I think had I been dating a more spontaneous individual I would have gotten married much too quickly.
I actually thought that the day after I got married. Ben and I were staying at a Bed & Breakfast and he was on cloud nine. Me--well, I was a bit nervous. Whenever I deal with transition in life, I freak a bit and allow fear to creep in and get the better of me. That morning, Ben went downstairs to get breakfast and unaware of my predicament. Upon his arrival, rather cheerful (like any new groom) sat down to eat breakfast with the bride of his youth, he asked, "how are you?" The million dollar question broke me and I burst into tears saying, "I THINK I MADE A MISTAKE!" **Insert: calm & collected Ben**
Ben said, "Well, it's a little late for that." (did I also mention Ben is very logical & practical?). Me crying, "I'm scared. Everyone kept saying how inclusive we were in our relationship, but they're not here now. It's just you & me--FOREVER!"
Ben replied quite gently, "I'm scared too, but it's going to be alright."
Me: "Well, you're not crying!"
Ben: "Well, I just express myself differently. Just because I'm not crying doesn't mean I'm not scared, too."
I started to calm down as Ben reassured me that it would be alright and we only had to take it one day at a time. This would be something I never realized that I would need in my marriage and relationship with Ben. I jump ahead, Ben stays put and looks at what's in front of him. I'm visionary, idealistic, big picture, while Ben is logistical, practical & realistic. In my youth, those words to describe Ben sound so organizational. But, I can now see it as an asset. Sure there are times when I wish for opposite; however, when I see the gifts as strengths--it is the best.