Thursday, January 14, 2010
I knew I would think differently after my post from yesterday come two hours later. And I'm glad to report that I did. It's as my father-in-law says, "We would've thrown Ben (as a baby) out in the snow if he wasn't so cute." Isn't this the truth. There are those moments in my day when I feel like my patience and sanity is being challenged left and right (and I honestly don't know if I can get past it). There are times when I can remove myself from the stimulus (screaming, whining, crazy child), think about my response, and then give a thoughtful, calm, & collected response.
However, there are definitely moments or days when I do not think about the stimulus and simply respond. But isn't it interesting how both responses are using emotion & feeling. They're just using them in negative & positive ways, which is something I've been learning a lot as a mother and teaching our girls the same. In the 7 Habits book, Stephen Covey talks about this principle, which is monumental for anyone wanting to give dignity to others and receive for themselves. It's the 1st Habit, "Be Proactive," which states, "change starts from within." We are given a choice in how we respond to the stimulus' of life.
So as we've been working hard, specifically with Veronica (as she has words) to name her emotions (rather than show them in full display, "Yes Screaming...or...THROW THINGS!"), we had a break through moment yesterday. She ran into the kitchen rather frustrated with her sister Cadence saying, "NOO Baby Cadence!" I asked her what happened.
Stimulus: She replied, "Cadence took my doughnut (toy doughnut)!"
Pause between stimulus & response: Then there was a thoughtful pause...
Her response: "That makes me angry!"
It was one of those break through/the light is shining at the end of tunnel moments. I suspect we'll have many more break through moments to come and a couple more set backs as well; but, it only makes us stronger right?